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How will I stop my spouse from spoiling the 2 year older daughter?

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Question: How will I stop my spouse from spoiling the 2 year older daughter?
My spouse provides the 2 year aged everything she wants plus she has become especially spoiled. I think it’s awesome to have a close relationship with a child however to not spoil. I come off because the strict parent whenever she asks for anything she doesn’t need plus my spouse provides it to her. He calls her princess plus she works like 1, plus it’s usually daddy daddy, what will I do`?

Answer by It was over speeches
what are you able to do? You are able to thank god which we have a fantastic family.

Answer by morgan
I think thats sweet .. allow him spoil her when he could she’s going to develop up someday.

Answer by Wendy
You plus the spouse need found on the same page here. It only gets worse because the child gets elder. He will need to know which simply because he doesn’t provide her everything she wants, she remains going to love him. Every child needs and wants boundaries. Hope you are able to exercise before it gets to from hand.

Answer by cool breeze
Just leave it alone. He is a parent too. He has his way’s,you have yours. It’ll exercise. Let them enjoy her childhood. All 2 years act that way. It’s usual.
She is simply realizing she is a separate human being then your 2 of we.

Answer by Amy
Lol I might SLAP him lol everytime he does it no relaly I might wait for him to provide her anything plus take it away because shortly because he offers it to her I might place it up someplace like inside a secure an dmake certain tehy cant receive it lol plus speak to him regarding how it really is incorrect aand cooperation inside a relationship is good

Written by HC House

October 29th, 2013 at 8:48 pm

12 Responses to 'How will I stop my spouse from spoiling the 2 year older daughter?'

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  1. My husband and I grew up in very different families. He had a sister and his parents went through a very nasty divorce right after his grandmother died. I grew up with two very loving parents (who are still together) and I’m an only child. I have been having a lot of health problems recently and it’s becoming very stressful for me (especially since I’m a stay at home mom with a 2 year old!). The way I was raised, when your spouse is ill and is struggling day to day, to support them…you are kind and sympathetic. My husband thinks his idea of being supportive is watching out daughter so I can go to my many appointments. I want to think that the way he was brought up is the reason he’s like this. Or maybe I’m just spoiled, I don’t know. So I was hoping someone could shed some light on this for me or maybe offer an opinion or even a little advice as how to deal with this. I am struggling with an illness right now and while I’m trying to get better, it’s aggravating. And to top it all off, my husband is aggravating me too!
    I forgot to mention that he told me this afternoon that he thinks I’m annoying and that I’m a burden, THAT is not supportive!

    Superman

    1 Nov 13 at 5:47 pm

  2. My inlaws gave wrong and harmful advices for children,I protest and didn`t follow them ,but since then my husband has seperated his room and start hiding everything from me .He said I have to tolerate and follow them even if they are wrong,he could leave his wife and children over their happiness as he love them very much.He reminds me their ways in everything I do for our children.He keep on comparing his childhood with his 4 year old son all the time,and compare me with his 70 yr old mother and his 1 and 2 year old daughters with his 48 and 50 years old sisters.He wants to repeat everything what happened in his parents home when he was a child as my inlaws keep him reminding of his childhood in everything he do or say.
    They blame me of crazy and my husband force me to do 3 psychological evaluations which all came fine.I filed a divorce case on him twice but every time he promised everything will be fine and to reconcile for the sake of God and children.And then agin he keep on insisting that I should follow his family ways,his relatives way and keep his abusive parents with us otherwise he could never be mine.Although he send his major part of income to his parents and married sisters and don`t save anything for his three children but I don`t object on anything now.
    This is my situation ,I wonder if anyone could give me an advice how to deal with this situation,I would really appreciate your help ,thanks .

    Benihana

    3 Nov 13 at 2:54 am

  3. It is said that a person is shinto in the sameway that he is japanese. Discuss at least two things which would explain the close relationship between shintoism and japanese natioalism

    Echo

    5 Nov 13 at 1:31 am

  4. I have been married 12yrs now and I stepped into my Stepdaughters life when she was 4yrs old. We are both 37yrs old. I have fed her, put clothes on her, given her everything she ever wanted, have a roof over her head, but yet she disrespects me all the time no matter what. Part of this is because everytime I am talking and punishing her; her mother steps in and ask all the what, when, where,why, who, how, why, ect on why is it that she is getting punished. from the, the argument starts. I think its the military in me why I am so strict to make her clean her room, do as her parents say, respect her parents and other, specially in public, proper manner…..you know the basic stuff our parents taught us.

    Well I have never till this day have got the real reason why she steps in and disrespects my father figure right in front of my stepdaughter. once my stepdaughetr sees it with her own eyes, then what runs through her brain is that…”wow well mom is on my side and I can talk back all I want to my stepdad because he doesnt know ****”

    my stepdaughter is really irresposible and I try to munish her for the things she does. like I said so much has happen through out the years but here is the most updated situation:

    So last week it was Spring Break and we got my stepdaughter a beach house for her and 3 of her friends, which cost $1,000 for a whole week to rent. Now, she also wanted her grandfathers truck so she could have all her friends in it instead of being cramped in her Bettle Bug. So she had all that and when we came back today her mother realised that the remote door opener to the truck is gone-lost-never to bee seen. Well so i got so mad that I took the keys to her car until I buy a remote since my stepdaughter doesnt work. I asked her when was the last time she saw it; she replied saying “at the beach” with an anger attitude. so first, she doesnt care; second, she did tell any one of us when she noticed it was lost; third, she gave me the “i dont care what happened attitude” when I tried to talk to ehr about it. so if she doesnt care that its lost, then i dont care that she doesnt have a car. In conclusion this is all due to her irresponsibility and the way her mother has raised her around me with her friendship towards her daughter and disrespect to me in front of her.

    questions:
    1. Has anyone experienced the opposite spouse behavior?
    2. What is the right things to tell my spouse so all this “i’m my daughters friend” stops?
    3. Am I wrong for taking the car keys?

    Any other suggestions?

    Mathew

    15 Nov 13 at 1:43 am

  5. Well, I have 3 beautiful children with my husband, and he has another child with his ex. His daughter is 12, and hates me for being her step mother. She gives me attitude, tells me she hates me, says I ruined her life, (she thinks i broke up her parents), and never gives me any respect. I thought by now being 12, she’d understand by now to be more mature, and that she doesn’t always get what she wants. I’m fairly nice to her, nicer to her & give into her way more than I do to my own children.
    I certainly did not break up her parents’ marriage, I got with my husband 2 1/2 yrs after he got divorced with his wife. She doesn’t understand, which I don’t know why.
    She’s always swearing, worrying about boyfriends, and not listening. She barely ever visits us, only every weekend, but when she does she’s a total BRAT.
    I can’t really discipline her, because she isn’t my child. If I did EVER tell her to stop doing something, she’d call or text her mom, and her mom would have my *** quick!
    What can I tell her or my husband? She never treats me with respect and only cares about herself? She’s always in her room, texting and on the internet. I try bonding with her as much as possible, and my husband says “she’s always been like that” but she never acts like that to her own mother or her dad.
    I try my best to put up with her behavior, but I don’t know what to do. i have a 1 yr old, 5 yr old, and a 10 yr old. They are all girls except the 5 yr old. I don’t know what to do, and she fights with my children as well. yes, I punish my own children. But I don’t have a right to punish her, are her words.
    She was being rude to my son this weekend, and I asked her nicely to stop (yes, i asked him too) and she simply said “you aren’t my mom, stop telling me what to do.” i am so upset at this point, and my husband doesn’t know what to do either. believe me, she gets p-oed at him too. She’s a spoiled brat at her mom’s!
    Any advice? I’m going nuts with her?! Never seen such a disrespectul child.
    Please no rude answers. Thanks!
    I can kinda understand why she would be upset since her parents are divorced, but she’s so immature for her age. I get her point of view, but I was just crying this past weekend because she shows me no respect, and as hard as I try she doesn’t care. help?!
    To the person who said “i deserved it because i split her family apart & maybe my husband would of went back to her mother”
    No he wouldn’t have, they went 2 yrs apart and my husband wouldn’t do that even if he was living desperately on the streets. He’d rather live on the streets then with her, believe me she’s horrible.
    If he wanted to go back with her, then he would of already did it.
    Please stop giving me ridiculously rude answers!

    The Beatles

    2 Feb 14 at 11:12 pm

  6. I’m Adam, I’m 35 years old, I’m Christian.
    No, I am not looking for a wife over Y!A
    I want to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years her name is Kristina. She’s 34. I have finally found a woman who gets me. She’s sweet, gorgeous, she believes in God too, she is a hard worker, she can cook, she has the same sense of humor as me, and she’s great in bed (we’re waiting now though…just so you Christians don’t get mad at me)
    I’ve been waiting to pop the question for a while now, I bought the ring 2 weeks ago. I’m scared Kris will reject me though and say no. I cannot handle rejection well.
    Here are a list of reasons why she might reject me…
    1) I have a 16 y/o daughter named Amber. She is my world and I love her, she’s a Daddy’s Girl. I can’t put my foot down and I spoil her a lot. Amber hates Kris and always asks me to break up with her. I try to make Amber and Kris bond but Amber doesn’t want to. Amber’s mother died when she was 5 but she didn’t really care. I was single for a long time, raising her by myself. She is not used to me having such a close girlfriend and she made it obvious she hates it. She is pregnant now, her boyfriend and her are both looking for jobs and already preparing for the baby but they live with me. Kris really wants to help Amber with her pregnancy but Amber said if she can do it with my help since I’m her dad, she doesn’t need Kris. But as a guy, I don’t know what it’s like to be pregnant. I’m scared Amber and Kris won’t get along and I don’t want to chose sides.
    2) I was sexually abused by my uncle when I was 5, it’s a secret, and now suddenly it bothers me. It never used to bother me as a kid and teen but now it does. One of the reasons I was single so long was because I didn’t know if I was gay or not. I’m dating Kris but sometimes I’ll look at a guy, and think “oh that *** looks good” then I’ll be ashamed of myself because I can’t think like that because I’m dating a woman and because I’m Christian. My uncle is dead now and no one knows he abused me, I DON’T want anyone to know. I’m scared Kris is think I’m bi or something and won’t want to marry me.
    3) I cry a lot. Real men don’t cry, let alone as much as me. I cry over stupid things. Like for example, a while back Amber had a dance recital and she had a solo. She had been dancing for a long time and she’s so grown up now. I started crying and everyone looked at me it was embarrassing. My brother who came with me and Amber started laughing at me at the end when they found out. Yesterday Amber showed me a list of names she wants to give the baby, and I started crying. Amber can always laugh it off but I can tell it creeps Kristina out. I don’t want my wife to see me as a “weak male”.
    4) She doesn’t know this (actually no one does)…but my doctor called me and said I may have male breast cancer. I really don’t want Kris to have to marry some dude with cancer. She deserves the best, she needs a well, able-bodied man in her life. And if I become 100% I have cancer, I don’t her to deal with me when I’m sick with such a dangerous disease. She probably won’t want to anyway.
    This is long I know. But can you read this and tell me what you think and if I should return the ring and just not even think about marriage yet?
    I’d like to hear from women only. I don’t care what you believe in, anyone can help…

    Kaylla

    8 Feb 14 at 9:29 am

  7. When I was a baby my biological mom put me with her second cousin who later lost custody of me and I was placed in foster care. When I was 5 I was adopted by my adoptive parents. They raised me and I love them.

    However, I searched for my biological mom for 13 years ago when I got engaged. It was hard though and took me so long to find her. About a year ago I received a call from a woman and she told me she was my biological mother. I asked her what my name was when I was born (My name was changed to Talia when my second cousin took me in and I was told my biological mother was never told). She said Ashley. That’s correct. I burst out crying. We talked and talked and then met a month later. Then a few weeks later she met my husband and three kids. We all were happy and loved each other.

    I thought my adoptive mother would be happy for me. But she wasn’t. She yelled at me and called me ungrateful when all I did was find my flesh and blood. She calmed down, met my biological mother and everything was fine. Or so I thought.

    Then my adoptive mom started getting angry when my biological mother would stop by to see the kids. Then she got mad when I invited my biological mother over on mother’s day. I shrugged it off knowing she was just jealous because after all of these years of raising me I had another mom I loved. I spent tons of time with my adoptive mother and just as much with my biological mom.

    What broke the straw on the camel’s back was last week when my adoptive mother and biological mother were over. My 5 year old daughter came into the room and called my biological mother, Grandma. Now, she always does this and calls my adoptive mother Nanna (as she has since she was a baby nothing has changed since my biological mother entered my life.). But my adoptive mother, I guess, never heard my 5 year old call her that and hit the roof. She said “I’m your grandmother, not that thing.” and my daughter said “No, she’s my grandma and your my Nanna.” My biological mother remained calm and said “Jessica, she can have two grandmothers. She actually has three. You, her father’s mother and me.” And my adoptive mother jumped up and yelled “YOU WILL NEVER BE IN OUR FAMILY!” and almost attacked her. I grabbed her while my biological mother sobbed.

    I ordered my adoptive mom to leave. She hasn’t ever really been nice to my biological mom.

    My husband says I should cut all ties off with my adoptive mom, but I don’t want to. Then my adoptive mom sent me an e-mail basically saying if I didn’t cut all ties off with my biological mom, I’ll be cut off from HER family. My adoptive dad feels the same way.

    HELP! I don’t want to lose any of them! What should I do? I love my biological mom so much and would hate lose her after spending 13 years trying to find her, but I don’t want to lose my adoptive mom even though I’ve told her numerous times my biological mom isn’t a threat! My biological mom so much wants to be my adoptive mom’s friend, but she won’t allow it!

    HELP!
    When I searched for my biological mother, my adoptive mom encouraged me! I guess she thought I wouldn’t go through with it though with her reaction.

    hank baseballs

    6 Mar 14 at 9:36 am

  8. On Christmas Eve I have my 2 brothers and their wives and my one sister and her hubby over for prime rib, music, and well u know, …fun. We usually have a present swap , a “white Elephant ” gift and I usually have a door prize type of thing.But overall its just fun to HAVE MY SIBLINGS OVER AT THAT TIME OF YEAR. Anyway, last year at around 11pm my niece shows up with her 2 kids and her husband. Now that is fine BUT all relaxing fun was stopped cause I had to yell at the kids untill finally I said to my sister” “are you going to tell the kids to quit jumping on my couch, or can u tell little mikey that I usually don’t run a 5 lb dumpster truck into my walls and across my 5000 dollar hardwood floor? I said “U r the grandma—please, don’t make me the “Bad Guy”.
    Well, evryone could tell that we were at our “wits end” trying to reprimand the 2 kids, (ruined the whole nite) So my niece left in a huff, and eventually everyone left.
    Anyway, yesterday , my sister informed me that my niece was asking about Christmas Eve, and then I told my sistr that I hope that she’s( my sister) was comin to my house and that I am tryin to make this an Adult” party, by this I mean -no having to watch the kids party. She said but her daughter was gonna have her feelings hurt again by not being invited to your house. I said I,m sorry I was just tryin to have a party for the adults. (My brothers and sister). So just now, I got a text message from my niece, it said, ” r u havin Christmas eve at your house this year again, and if so, am I invited this time?
    How do I handle this? I love my niece but…………………………………

    Duke

    30 Mar 14 at 11:41 am

  9. I don’t know about other countries, but in India you will find such regressive control freak people with regressive mindset. For eg: they think that women should be submissive to men and she don’t need to study more, don’t need to do job and depend on men, should not wear western outfit like jeans, skirt, etc., should respect elders which is not wrong but in their language (mindset) respect means bow down to any unreasonable or irrational order of elders and raising once concern or standing up to them is considered disrespecting elders. This is not enough, this people also have various other mindset, for eg: they critisize love marriages and believe in arrange marriages, critisize nuclear family system, and many other regressive traditions. But younger generations don’t want to believe all this, so they critisize them and blame western cultrue to spoil our current Indian new generation. I have often seen and observed how old generation people or people with old and regressive mindset always want to critisize new generation youth without even acknoledging that how much pressure nowadays youth has to endure to survive in this world. They even critisize new movies and keep bragging about old movies and also keep bragging about how things used to be in their era. All this people want to do is to critisize youth of nowadays and claims that nowadays youth is spoiled, they don’t have respect for elders, they don’t want to work hard blah blah blah…. If they have traditional mindset its okey, but they are so control freak that they often want to impose their thoughts on the youth, esp. their children, grandchildren, relatives and daughter in law.

    Also if something in the country go wrong with younger generation then they don’t want to miss the opportunity to critisize mindset of today’s youth and want to blame that all this is a result of new generation changing mindset… For eg: If a women in village who is wearing a traditional wear get raped, no one will say anything, but if in newspaper a news comes that urban women got raped, then they will point out, nowadays girls wear western outfit, so they are inviting rape – (how absurd?)
    Even uneducated couple undergo marriage problem, but if educated modern couple has to undergo divorce, then they will blame that all this is a result of youth’s changing mindset, they don’t have tolerance like people had before and hence divorce are rising. But why the **** they don’t acknoledge that how in their times women lived like slave.
    Hey Biker, I am roohi remember, even in my previous question u posted tht link of youtube. Oh comeon, just by seeing tht clip u can’t generalize abt whole lot. Yeah I am generalising abt women oppression in India, coz tht is reality, come to India n do survey thn u will know what had been happening since century with women. Now situations has improved to some extent, but some ppl are still with old mind who always try to opress women. Indian in-laws are hell and 90% of divorce happens because husband’s family interfere in marriage and try to control and opress the daughter in law. And this is official figure. Pathetic things like female infanticides happen here. So pls don’t try to contradict with me showing tht links
    Its not a child’s play to leave India as u say…. you need visa for tht and someone whos there to accompany you. And what problem u have if I discuss, recognize, disclose and analyse root causes and negatives of our culture.
    Yes, old genere of all countries critisize new one, but the only difference in India is that they don’t respect individuality and privacy of people like in west. Many older generation try to impose their belief on their children forcefully. The urban class has improved, but situation of villages and rural part in India is still worse. Love marriages are not allowed. If two individuals fall in love, then more than their parents, the relatives and villagers interfere and try to break them up. Things like honour killing happens in India. Google “honour killing” n u’ll come to know what is it. Problem is people with old generation try to impose their rules forcefully sometimes, I can’t explain u in length abt this, only the wearer knows whr the shoe pinches.
    Yes, old genere of all countries critisize new one, but the only difference in India is that they don’t respect individuality and privacy of people like in west. Many older generation try to impose their belief on their children forcefully. The urban class has improved, but situation of villages and rural part in India is still worse. Love marriages are not allowed. If two individuals fall in love, then more than their parents, the relatives and villagers interfere and try to break them up. Things like honour killing happens in India. Google “honour killing” n u’ll come to know what is it. Problem is people with old generation try to impose their rules forcefully sometimes, I can’t explain u in length abt this, only the wearer knows whr the shoe pinches.
    @Biker, I think you are an Indian. btw I don’t say India shud westernize, but this mentality shud change tht men is superior to women & dil is obligated to tk care of inlaws & inlaws hv right to behave anyway with dil but dil hv no right to retaliate. u only knw if u’r girl n marry with small dreams which shattered by some morons.

    white man

    7 Apr 14 at 5:41 am

  10. Maybe a parent-child relationship, or the relationship between spouses, or friendship, or brotherly love between siblings, or a therapeutic relationship with your shrink, or… what do you think it is?

    ibjammin44

    29 Apr 14 at 9:38 am

  11. So I was hanging out with my friends (all gay) yesterday and we were talking about relationships. And one of my very cynical friends goes on about how its just impossible to have a monogamous gay relationship. Of course it got me mad, but then after thinking about it for a while I realized that I don’t know a single relationship which is not open. Either one of the guys is cheating or there is an arrangement between them where they can play around. May be it is an urban thing where the options are a lot and guys are willing to sleep around. Is it just an urban thing, gay or straight?

    It makes me kinda sad knowing most gay guys I know think that way.
    Yah most of my friends are under 30. I am the youngest one in the group and they make fun of me for believing in romance and all. They say I will eventually grow out of it once I realize how the real world is. Granted most of them have been “out there” for years before me.
    J m, I guess its an NYC thing where the “scene” is big.
    So does this mean I’ll have to wait till guys around me get older to have some sort of a normal relationship? B/c every one my age is pretty much of the same mind set. =/

    Matt

    15 May 14 at 4:58 am

  12. My parents were divorced when i was 2 and i see my real dad every other weekend but i dont feel we realy have a close relationship and i still realy love him any ideas on how to build a relationship?

    Splash Log Level 2 Again

    29 May 14 at 4:08 pm

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